Everybody Loves Raymond
by Ivanfanatic
Summary: Raven never did have good birthday parties, especially after what happened LAST year. Priscilla throws him a party and what is a King to do? Decompressed from 5 chapters to 1.


Hi again! Yes, I decided to just repost this as chapters anyway. Why? Too long. I also decided to do this thing called proofreading. For some reason I usually skip that and my computer butchered this and cut up sentences. Very aggravating. So I'm hoping it'll be better (and its shorter now) that I just post it in chapters like I previously had it. Much love, Tactician Kate

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Chapter 1: Unwanted Surprises 

"My darling Princess Priscilla..." Sain murmured in his sleep. "Where have you gone so early?" His hand reached around the bed, groping at the covers and the pillow. He thought he was lost in another dream when his hand met someone else's. Slowly he pulled the hand up to his face, resting it on his cheek. "There you are my sweet..."

"Who are you calling sweet?"

Sain's eyes snapped open. The hand he was holding didn't belong to Priscilla, but her older brother.

"I asked you a question, scoundrel."

"I...er...well I..." Sain sat up, backed up against the wall. Raven sighed mercilessly as he folded his arms across his chest and stood in a relaxed pose, his semi-ruthless glare gazing at Sain. In a matter of seconds he had one foot on the bed and was leaning in on his room mate, one closed hand pulling the cowering paladin up by his nightshirt and into Raven's face.

"Yeah, just as I thought. Let's make one thing clear, ok? If you lay a finger on my sister, I'll lay my sword on you." Raven smiled, threatening with a sort of mocking tone.

"Lord Brother?"

"Hold on a second, I'll be right there!" The young mercenary called out towards the hallway, then looked back at Sain. "And for a man of your type, you are NOT going to like where my sword will end up. Do I make myself clear?" Sain nodded quickly. "Good."

"Lord Brother- there you are!" Priscilla beamed. Raven stepped out of Sain's room into the hallway, then smiled at his long-lost sister. "I've been looking for you!"

"I've noticed. I can recognize your song for a voice anywhere, sister."

"You're such a tease." Priscilla grinned.

"So what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

"That's just it!" Priscilla clapped her hands together. "In case you have forgotten, today is your birthday!" Excited for once, Priscilla danced off down the hall to find Florina and Serra. "We're planning a party for you, Lord Brother! Oh, its going to be so much fun!"

"My... birthday?" Raven felt his eye twitch. Birthdays and Raven never seemed to get along too well. Every year something odd or just flat out frightening would happen. Three years ago several of the boys in town thought it'd be funny to hire men to dress up as women and convince Raven to marry them. Two years ago his mafia of a family battled out with the Lycian league and lost. Just last year... well, he didn't even WANT to think about what happened last year. "I think I should hide..."

"You might not want to do that." A cold finger poked Raven in the neck. Raven jerked around and reached for his sword, not realizing it wasn't there. He stumbled for a bit, then stood up and acted like nothing happened. "Um... Lord Raymond?"

"I'm fine, Lucius, really... and call me Raven, please?"

"Right..." Lucius blew off that last part as always and continued. "Your sister has been planning this party for you for a couple of weeks now. If you shrug it off, she'll be very disappointed."

"I know, but something BAD is going to happen at the party, I can feel it!"

"It's just a small party with a couple of friends. Oh, what could possibly go wrong." Lucius frowned and placed his hands on his hips.

"You remember what happened LAST year, don't you?"

"Oh..." Lucius suddenly became rather pale, then turned an interesting shade of crimson. "Well, um... I uh, I promised Erk I'd help him go pick out your birthday present so I really should be going now." Lucius pressed his lips together tightly and turned on his heel, then dashed off down the hall.

"Yeah, right." Raven mumbled. "They don't shop, they eavesdrop on everyone and they think no one knows about it."

"Who's eavesdropping?"

"HEY!" Raven whirled around, ready to strike at whoever snuck up behind him again. Consequently, it was just Eliwood. "Oh... hey there, Eliwood."

"Who's eavesdropping?"

"Erk and Lucius."

"No, really, who's eavesdropping."

"Erk and Lucius."

"Sacaens never lie, Raven."

"I'm not a Sacaen."

"Oh..."

"Still, its Erk and Lucius."

"Honestly you're so hot-headed sometimes because Lucius is hanging around Erk more than you lately." Eliwood frowned. Raven leaned back against the door frame, his arms foldedover his chest. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"Not really. Jealousy isn't exactly an emotion I express all that much and I do like to be alone a good deal of my time."

"If you're going to insist." Eliwood turned and waved as he headed towards the stairs. "I'll see you at breakfast then."As he was headingdownstairs, Eliwood turned once again, glancing back at Raven. A broad grin broke out on the young red head's face. "We're hoping you'll be there- AHHHHH!!!!!!"

Thump. Clatter. Bang. Smash. "Ow...."

"Hey, you alright?" Raven rushed down the stairs. Eliwood was sprawled out on the floor for only a second, so before anyone could notice what had happened he was already up on his feet and fixing his clothes.

"I'm fine. Really."

"That's great, really." Raven slapped Eliwood on the back before the slightly battered prince wondered into the dining room. Once again Raven was alone. Breakfast was in 10 minutes and he was NOT looking forward to it. He glanced at the doorway to the inn. No one was guarding it.

"Lord Brother!!!! Breakfast is ready!"

"I have GOT to get out of here." Raven dashed through the door and out of the inn. Right now the last thing he wanted was a birthday party. Unfortuneatly, fate and Raven never did along. Raven rounded the corner of the house, hoping to hide out in Nino's treehouse for the day. Instead of finding a treehouse, he ran head-on into what felt like a warm brick wall. "OW!!! Watch it!"

"It's more like you watch it. I was just standing here, Raven."

Perfect. It was his birthday, Priscilla was throwing a party. What a better way to start off his escape by running into someone he hated the most.

Hector.


End file.
